As parents, one of our most important responsibilities is to teach our children about safety—both physical and emotional—and to provide them with the tools to navigate the world confidently. A crucial part of this process is fostering a sense of security and body autonomy while ensuring they know they have a trusted circle of adults to turn to when they need guidance or support.
This is where the “Safe Five” concept comes in. It’s a simple yet powerful way to build a support network for your child that goes beyond the immediate family. These five trusted adults become a cornerstone in their lives—people they can rely on, confide in, and learn from as they grow.
What Is the Safe Five Concept?
The “Safe Five” refers to a group of five adults your child can turn to for support, guidance, or help, especially in situations where they may not feel comfortable talking to their parents directly. These individuals can include family members, teachers, mentors, family friends, or other trusted figures.
Having these five trusted adults ensures that your child knows they are never alone in navigating challenges, big or small. It also reinforces that their safety, well-being, and voice matter, no matter the circumstances.
Why Five Adults?
- Diversity of Perspectives: Different adults bring different experiences and insights, providing well-rounded support for your child.
- Accessibility: If one adult isn’t available or approachable in a specific situation, your child knows they have other options.
- Trust Beyond Parents: While parents are a child’s primary safety net, having others they can trust helps build confidence in seeking support outside the family unit.
- Boundaries: It teaches children the value of boundaries and helps them recognize who they can trust with sensitive or personal issues.
- Safety in Numbers: A larger network of trusted adults ensures your child feels safe and supported, even if family dynamics are challenging or parents are unavailable.
Who Should Be in the Safe Five?
The adults in your child’s “Safe Five” should be people who:
- Have a strong, positive relationship with your child.
- Consistently show respect for your child’s boundaries and autonomy.
- Are approachable and good listeners.
- Share values that align with your family’s, especially regarding safety and well-being.
- Are reliable and trustworthy in times of need.
These individuals could include grandparents, close family friends, coaches, teachers, or even a counselor. Encourage your child to participate in identifying their Safe Five, as their comfort and trust are key.
Teaching Safety Through the Safe Five
In addition to creating this trusted circle, it’s essential to equip your child with the skills and knowledge to feel safe and secure. Here are the five key lessons to instill in your child to reinforce safety, body autonomy, and confidence in their support network:
1. Your Body Belongs to You
Teach your child about body autonomy from an early age. Emphasize that their body is theirs, and they have the right to say no to any touch or interaction that makes them uncomfortable. Use clear, age-appropriate language to discuss safe and unsafe touch.
Key message: “You are the boss of your body.”
2. No Secrets, Only Surprises
Help your child understand the difference between secrets and surprises. Surprises (like a birthday party) are temporary and fun, while secrets—especially ones that make them feel uneasy—should never be kept.
Key message: “If someone asks you to keep a secret that makes you feel worried or uncomfortable, tell one of your Safe Five right away.”
3. Feelings Are Valid
Encourage your child to recognize and trust their feelings. Teach them that it’s okay to feel scared, uncomfortable, or unsure and that those feelings are important signals to pay attention to.
Key message: “If something doesn’t feel right, it’s always okay to tell someone you trust.”
4. Help Is Always Available
Reassure your child that they can always turn to their Safe Five for help, no matter the situation. Make sure they know that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Key message: “You can always talk to me or someone in your Safe Five if you need help. We’re here for you.”
5. Boundaries Are for Everyone
Teach your child that boundaries apply to everyone, even adults. Help them practice saying “no” confidently and reinforce that their boundaries should always be respected. Boundaries aren’t just about setting limits for others—they’re about being clear with ourselves about what we are and are not comfortable with. Helping your child understand that setting boundaries is an act of self-respect and self-care, and it’s okay to communicate those boundaries to other confidently.
Key message: “Your boundaries are yours, and if someone crosses them, you can always talk to someone in your Safe Five. You deserve to feel safe and respected.”
Building the Safe Five Together
Creating your child’s Safe Five is a collaborative effort. Sit down together and discuss who they feel comfortable with and why. Explain the importance of trust and respect in these relationships, and ensure your child knows they can update their Safe Five as they grow and their needs change.
Keep the lines of communication open and remind your child regularly that their safety and comfort are your top priorities. By instilling these values early, you’re equipping them with lifelong skills for navigating relationships and protecting their well-being.
The Role of Parents in the Safe Five
As parents, you are your child’s primary source of safety and guidance. The Safe Five doesn’t replace your role; it enhances it. Knowing that your child has additional trusted adults in their corner ensures they always feel supported, no matter the circumstance.
By fostering a culture of open communication, teaching body autonomy, and creating a strong support network, you’re setting the foundation for your child to thrive in a safe, respectful, and empowering environment.
At The Little Hearts Collective, we believe in raising children who feel confident in their ability to seek support and navigate the world with strength and self-assurance. The Safe Five concept is just one way we can help parents and children work together to create a brighter, safer future.
Your child’s safety starts with connection—and it grows with trust. Let’s build it together!
Our Commitment to Safety and Boundaries
At The Little Hearts Collective—thus, in our in-person classroom—we prioritize personal boundaries and safety above all else. We are dedicated to creating an environment where children feel empowered to express their needs and feelings openly. By respecting each child’s individuality and fostering a culture of trust, we aim to support their growth, confidence, and well-being every step of the way.
When children feel safe, respected, and heard, they are empowered to grow into confident, self-assured individuals.
Warmly,
The Little Hearts Collective